A Secret

While Hollie was still at practice,

and Dad is still driving I-95 home

and Mom is prepping the chicken downstairs,

today, I tiptoe into Hollie’s room

and sneak a look at her nail polish.

 

Over the years, Hollie had gathered

every color under the sun.

There is a row devoted to reds

More Vibrant than Roses. That’s what the label said.

There are Leading Ladies and Fuchsia Flames,

and even the innocent Goldilocks, all their colors refracting

through their prisons of glass.

 

The tiny bottle is cool on my fingertips.

Little dried mistakes on the sides feel smooth like butter,

and that marigold

shines greater than the twilight sun.

 

Then a tiny voice resounds in my head:

‘Should I?’

I know where the remover is, and nobody

would notice, and Dad wouldn’t see, and it wouldn’t even need to dry.

I could take off my jersey, scrape away that grime from baseball practice and

 

Then I hear the door slam.

and then I’m in my room, playing Call of Duty,

and I leave Goldilocks

locked in her chest.

So I’m starting here again, speaking into void

I saw that I had two visits to my site in February, which I’m pretty sure were from myself. Even though I know that it’s basically impossible for a random person to stumble on a webpage now in the age of aggregates like facebook and reddit,  I want to finally throw my hat back into the public ring again. What, you’ve never heard of me, and didn’t even know I tried to post here before? Well… I’m back!!!

This blog is really just going to be a post of all the random things I come up with. It probably won’t be well edited, and it may not even have strong content. But it will be content. What I remember from my days reading webnovels, furiously clicking on the refresh button on novelupdates, what mattered most was the constant stream of new updates. The weekly content really stopped mattering to me after a while. It was the every day, every hour fare that actually keep me coming back to read those semi-translated stories (apologies to anyone I offend, though I doubt anyone who could be offended would read this), coming back for their skinner box treat.

I won’t be doing that here. Hell, I don’t even have a posting schedule at this point, I just want to have something i’ve done saved somewhere in the deep web. Maybe what I write will be noticed, maybe I can move past the dream of being someone heard (well read) and make that into the reality. That may take time, and that probably will not happen if I have another day like today, spending my time eating month old birthday cake instead of writing.

But it may get good on this site eventually. So, for the random person I may have enticed, enjoy. Hopefully there is more content than this post and the other two on here. I dream as I write this that it will be a lot of different formats, and my site will include stories of all types, commentaries on what I’ve thought, and “poetry”. It will just be whatever I think works for that day. I think you’ll like my dream.

Train Dialogue July 7th (unedited)

“So… I like your coat” said Charles. The girl took a second, and, after realizing that she was being spoken to, nodded and said thanks.

“Where’d you get that at, Burlington? It looks like something one of my sisters would wear.”

“Well… honestly I don’t remember. It was supposed to be chilly today, and I grabbed whatever I could to rush over to the train.”

“Yea, how about that? Sometimes I feel like I trust those broadcasts a bit too much. I mean, how often does it really get to be 60 degrees in August?”

“Yea, that’s what I thought. But, it’s one of those situations where it’s not really believable, so it must be true, you know? Sort of like cloudless rain or global warming.”

“Hey, you shouldn’t say that too loudly, we’re in Philly, you know? A rabid environmentalist might just run you down.”

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” The woman paused and put out her hand. “I’m Eve.”

“Nice to meet you Eve. I’m Adam.”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Not really, it just felt right to say. My name’s Charles, Charles Barker.”

“Your first and middle name is Charles? I didn’t know parents would do that to a child. “

“I guess you’re mad I went with Adam first, aren’t ya?”

“Your attempt was a little better than the others I’ve heard, but it’s a pretty common joke. I wish people got a bit more creative with it.”

“What do you mean?” Charles asked.

“Well, if you’re going to make a Genesis joke, at least go for the side characters. I’ve never had a woman come up to me and say they were Lilith.”

“Well that’s because women aren’t funny.”

“Is that true? And for a second there I had hopes for you.”

“I don’t mean it in a mean way. They just don’t have any need to be. Guys use humor to hide the fact that they are ugly and can’t act appropriately in public. Woman will get what they want just by walking into a room and looking pretty.”

“Wow, another foul. I guess these ‘words of wisdom’ come from experience? I’d think that, but you obviously haven’t talked to a woman before.”

“I’m already getting shunned? Sweet, that’s a new record for me.”

“Record?”

“It’s a little game I play. I love riding the train, but it can be boring listening to the same 20 tracks on my phone for 15 minutes, waiting to get off at Temple. So, when I’m up to it, I go and see any vacant people and try to strike up conversation, and then see how quickly I can get shot down after I get their name.”

“You know, that game seems a little perverted. Why not just talk to people normally? Who knows, you might even make a friend.”

“Why would I want that? Train friends are the most awkward relationships.”

“Really now?”

“Think about it. Train friends are people you meet once, may have a 10 minute conversation with once or twice, and then might not see again for weeks. They become close enough that they are almost acquaintances, but after such a long absence, you will undoubtedly forget their name. This always leads to the uncomfortable ‘how are you doing, man’ ‘good, how bout you’ conversations that only exist to make niceties. If you collect too many of them, the car becomes a minefield filled with potential awkward glances and hazardous seats.”

“So what, you’re trying to end the relationship before it starts? That seems to me to cause far more problems. If you play this ‘game’ too often, there’s going to be a ton of seats where the person will want to block you out. You eventually would have to stand the entire trip.”

Charles gripped his chest and stared distantly. “I’ll just have to live with the consequences of my actions!”

“I think you need to have a little more faith in people Charles.”

“Probably.”

“What stop do you get off at? Temple, right?”

Charles smiled. “Yea, that’s right.”

“well, I’m off at University Park. Why don’t you sit next to me tomorrow? I’ll show you that train friends aren’t the worst things to have.”

“Really? Aren’t I at two strikes now?”

“It takes three strikes to be out, remember? I never thought I’d have to lecture a boy on baseball.”

The train pulled to a stop. The marker above read Temple.

Charles went to get up.

“I guess I didn’t try hard enough today. I’ll bring my .003 average tomorrow then. See you later, Lilith!”

“It’s Eve!”

Hello world!

(This is your very first post. Click the Edit link to modify or delete it, or start a new post. If you like, use this post to tell readers why you started this blog and what you plan to do with it.

Happy blogging!)

I feel like I should delete the above, but for some reason it doesn’t feel right to. So, I decided to keep it and ramble on below.

I don’t know if anyone will ever read this blog. It’s mostly a place where I try to upload stuff that I wrote so that I can feel like I have accomplished something with my ramblings. It’s entirely a selfish project, and most of the uploaded works will be unedited or unfinished (most likely both). After posting it, I’ll have reviews of my work, and later down the line revised or finished copies.

I don’t care if anyone uses my work as long as they notify me that they use it, and that they put reference to the original creator wherever they post it. Not that I think the stuff I’m posting will be shared (although that would be cool).

That said, I hope you enjoy my meager attempts at story telling!